


Golden Hour

by AcidClovers



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Confused Kiibo, Fix-it fic for my life, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human Kiibo, M/M, Miscommunication, Oblivious Saihara, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unrequited Love, Vent? Vent., lots of messy feelings, the cafe au part of this isn't actually that important
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcidClovers/pseuds/AcidClovers
Summary: Kiibo isn’t very big on love. He doesn't hate it, he just doesn't care for it. One fateful day, a very attractive, but quiet guy shows up at his workplace. Kiibo soon begins to think that maybe, just maybe, he has room to love. He just hopes the other thinks the same.ABANDONED AND DISCONTINUED
Relationships: K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 28
Kudos: 103





	1. Just who is this guy?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone who decided to read this! There are like three Saiibo fics with more than 10k words, and I'm here to change that. This fic should get pretty angsty (because feelings are awful and messy). Strap yourselves in for a wild ride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kiibo, after all of that rambling we did, you didn’t notice? That was Saihara,” Amami said, amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Saiibo hell. Your punishment? This fic.

The sound of clattering dishes echoed behind Kiibo. “Careful, you’ll break something,” He warned, slipping his phone into his pocket.

Ouma rolled his eyes. “Whatever Kiiboy. Worst case scenario we have to sweep some glass.”

He sighed, looking to Amami for support. “Please make him listen.”

The taller male shrugged, making a noncommittal “eh”. So much for help.

Business was slow that particular day, only the occasional late worker rushing in for a quick pick-me-up. The day was going by painfully slow, and Kiibo could almost hear time itself working its gears. Ouma popped up next to him, jabbing his cheek with a thin finger. “Ack! Ouma, stop that!”

“But I’m bored!” He complained, drawing out his vowels, “You’re no fun.”

Kiibo stared at the cash register in front of him, eyes heavy from his own boredom, and the heat of the building. It was early morning, but the glass warmed the cafe like an oven. He wondered why the manager didn’t turn on the AC that day. “That's great. Why don’t you bother Amami? You always express how he’s more interesting anyway.”

“I was lying. Robots are much cooler, even if you’re a normal rule-abiding citizen,” Ouma stated, taking a seat on top of the counter. 

“For the last time, I’m not a robot. I am completely human, I have a birth certificate. Besides, being a rule-abiding citizen isn’t a bad thing.”

“Are you sure? I’m confident you’re secretly a robot, here to destroy us all. You’re using your goody-two-shoes act to fool us all,” Ouma exclaimed, tucking his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees.

“I agree with Ouma, you’re secretly a robot. How else would you get all A’s for your entire academic history? You talk and act as if you’ve just become a person, and are too afraid to break some secret human rule,” Amami said, a playful smile flickering briefly.

Kiibo gave up defending himself from his coworkers' robot accusations. This happened every time and had been occurring for years. He couldn’t remember what he did exactly to earn the “robot” title. He began occupying himself, doodling on the rough paper napkins at their disposal.

“Ooh, Kiibo! Wasting resources? How naughty.” Ouma teased, watching the other draw. 

He ignored the other, not wanting to get roped into another petty argument that only left Kiibo frustrated. Ouma seemed to get the hint and turned to Amami, selecting him as his next victim. “Amami! Let's play twenty questions! I’m changing the rules though, you have to answer your own question!”

Amami thought for a moment before giving in to the request. “Sure, whatever. Want to join, Kiibo?”

He capped the sharpie, dropping it in his apron pocket. “Alright, Ouma you start,” he suggested.

“Hmm, have you ever been a robot? I know I’m not because I have a dick. What about you Kiibo?” 

“Christ, Ouma, no. I’m not a robot,” Kiibo said, ignoring the comment about dicks.

The smallest of the three raised an eyebrow. “I meant if you have a dick, but whatever, I’ve got my eyes on you! What about you Amami? Are _you_ a robot?”

He shook his head, tossing bleach green locks. “Nope. One-hundred percent organic. My turn. How many crushes have you had?”

“Twelve,” Ouma replied immediately.

“Twelve?” Kiibo asked, voice cracking with his surprise, “How?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Guess I’m just a slut.”

Kiibo looked to Amami with a questioning expression. “And you?”

“Three, more or less. What about you?”

The small boy shuffled nervously. “None,” He admitted.

Kiibo never was one for love, always preferring his studies and simple, platonic relationships over the idea of romantic ones. He never thought about getting into one, and he often busied himself to the point where romance was out of the question. He wasn’t revolted by the idea, but he certainly didn’t care about it either. 

For a while, he thought he might be Asexual or Aromantic, but he didn’t want to put a label on anything he hadn’t tried out yet. Maybe, one day, he would find some time and care to want a relationship, but as for now? He saved the idea for a later date.

Whenever the topic of romance came up, he found it awkward, having nothing to talk about. He was always left out, not wanting and not having anything to contribute. It was okay though, it allowed him to focus on other things, even if it greatly declined the amount of “interesting” things he had to talk about. Maybe he was broken?

 _No._ Being broken would mean he isn’t functional. He works just fine, and it wasn’t a problem for him, so he can’t be broken. He wasn’t concerned about meeting “the one”, but he was concerned about never getting a chance to try it. He _wanted_ to try love at some point, but it seemed that his brain was more focused on other things.

“What? You’ve _never_ had a crush?” Ouma shook the other boy, ripping him away from his thoughts.

“No? I don’t know, I don’t really care for it. It would get in the way of what is more important. I have school and work to focus on,” he tried his best to explain, without unloading all of his confusing thoughts.

“But Kiiboard! You’re in college! This is where you find love! Sometimes permanent love! What are you going to do if you go out of college without any experience?”

He shrugged, arms moving stiffly in the shorter boy’s grasp. Amami assisted in freeing Kiibo, using the opportunity to talk to him. “You should think about getting a girlfriend… or boyfriend if that’s your taste,” He gave Ouma a side glance, who gasped dramatically, “But he’s right. You need to have some dating experience before you graduate.”

Kiibo nodded slowly, desperate for an attempt to get the subject dropped. “It’s uh… my turn. What’s the top thing on your bucket list?”

“See the world,” Amami said, a fond smile on his face, “All my sisters want to live in different places, most across seas, so it would be a great opportunity for me to see it. Besides, it would be nice to see what the rest of the world has to offer.”

“That’s cheesy. You see, I am a simple man. My bucket list consists of one thing, and one thing only. Get Kiibo someone to love!” Ouma said, staring at the subject of his statement dead in the eyes.

“Ouma, please. Just let me do my own thing. I don’t need you messing with my love life.”

“You can’t mess with something that doesn't exist, stupid,” Ouma shot.

“Ooh, sick burn,” Amami hissed.

“Whatever,” He couldn’t believe these were his friends _and_ coworkers. “Ouma, it’s your turn to ask.”

“Totally skipped answering your own question, but whatever,” Ouma complained, “Who’s the prettiest person you’ve ever seen? I think it’s Amami. I mean, look at him. He almost looks fake.”

Kiibo nodded. “For once, I agree. You do have great physical qualities that compliment each other as a whole. You won the gene pool lottery.”

Amami’s face dusted with a light blush and he laughed at the compliment, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks, guys, but I disagree. Shuichi Saihara takes the cake of ‘prettiest person out there’.”

“I take back my answer, Amami is correct. I mean, have you seen those _lashes_! His eyes are super pretty too! At first, they’re an ugly yellow-green-gray puke mess, but in the right lighting? _Damn_ ,” Ouma gushed, ending with a sigh.

“He’s pretty quiet, but polite,” Amami added, “I had him in one of my classes in high school. Honestly, I thought he was a girl at first, and continued to think that until we had PE together. I was definitely in for a surprise that year.”

Kiibo stared off, logging out of the conversation. He had no idea who this “Saihara” guy was, or why the other two were so obsessed with him. He seemed nice, but Kiibo wasn’t interested in gossiping over a boy he’s never met before. About fifteen minutes of “Saihara this” and “Saihara that” when the bell at the door rang, signaling that a customer had arrived. Kiibo tapped the others, hissing for them to go back to their respective jobs, as to not get in trouble for goofing off.

Turning around, he was met with the customer, already at the counter. It startled him, how close he was and how quickly he got there. “H-hello, how may I help you?” Kiibo squeaked, voice cracking in every way possible.

He mentally cursed himself out, face going beet red.

“Uh, a tall latte will do, thank you… Kai-bo?” The boy read his nametag with slight confusion.

“It’s Kiibo,” Kiibo corrected, filling out the order for Amami to eventually make. 

“Oh, apologies,” He said, looking at his feet. Was he embarrassed?

Kiibo took the opportunity to observe the person in front of him. He wasn’t very tall but still towered above him as most people did. He had fair skin and delicate facial features that complimented each other nicely. He seemed to be on his way to work, dressed in a high-collared pinstripe suit. He was attractive, very much so, but Kiibo didn’t think much of it. Just another person ordering coffee and giving him money so he could pay for his needs.

“It’s all good, common mistake.”

It wasn’t a common mistake, but Kiibo felt like he had to make the boy feel a little better for his awful pronunciation. Maybe Japanese was his second language and he read the Hiragana wrong? His accent seemed pretty good, so he didn’t think that was the case. Maybe I was tired. He did have some pretty serious bags under those eyes.

He forgot to ask the others' names before he went to sit at one of the tables, waiting for his order. Lucky enough, he was the only person in the shop, so it wasn’t a big deal. His coworkers were uncharacteristically quiet, leaving the sounds of coffee faceting out of the machine and dishes being washed. It made Kiibo uneasy. Why would they stop talking so suddenly?

The boy left as soon as the drink was in his hands, seemingly in a rush. The moment the door closed, ringing the bell, Ouma burst out laughing. “Oh, man! What were the chances?” He cried.

Amami laughed along. “I know, right? That had to be staged.”

“Kiibo fucked it up too! ‘H-how may I help you?’” Ouma mimicked, voice stuttering and cracking, “That was priceless! And Kai-bo? I thought I was bad! At least I do it on purpose.”

“I was startled, okay? I didn’t notice he was already at the counter,” He defended, reaching up to fiddle with the headphones around his neck.

Admittedly, that had to be one of the most awkward encounters of his life, mixed with the voice cracked, bad pronunciations, and pathetic responses. He could only be thankful that it was over, and he would probably never see that person again.

“Kiibo, after all of that rambling we did, you didn’t notice? That was Saihara,” Amami said, amused.

It suddenly clicked. He did look somewhat feminine, but he saw it as looking delicate. Nothing rang a bell about him being Saihara, but then again he wasn’t paying listening to his coworkers' description. He couldn’t remember the color of his eyes or how long his lashes were, as he wasn’t paying attention, but he took their word for it.

“Oh,” was all he could say, staring at the door the boy walked out of.

-

Saihara soon became a common customer. Kiibo didn’t know why the boy chose this cafe as his new-found coffee spot, or how he managed to always walk in when he had a shift, but he did. At least once a week, he would walk in, order a coffee, then quickly leave. 

Kiibo was familiar enough with him to know that he lived close by, had a job from eight to four, and drove a car for his commute. He didn’t look any older than Kiibo, so he wondered what kind of job he worked at that would hire him full time. Did he even go to college? Was he his age, or was Kiibo bad at guessing? Is that car his own? How did he get a well-paying job so young, not going to college? Is the full-time job just a summer thing? His outfit looks too professional to only be a summer gig.

The subject of his thoughts looked up and caught Kiibo staring in his direction. He gave a curt half-wave, questioning if it was on purpose. He suddenly realized what he was doing, and was brought back to the present moment.

Kiibo didn’t mean to stare, he just dozed off while thinking, unknowingly looking in the other’s direction. He immediately tore his gaze away, embarrassed. He must have looked like a creep. That wasn’t even the first time either. He had to have done it three or four times before, each an accident.

He figured there was only one way to get a proper answer to all his questions. Asking.

The next time Saihara showed up at the cafe, Kiibo jot down his order on the side of the cup and set to work. The days weren’t busy, as it was the summer, but he assumed that would soon change when school starts up again.

He tore a sticky note from the packet he kept in his apron pocket and scribbled a question on it with a sharpie. _How old are you?_

He stuck it to the paper coffee cup and placed it on the pickup table, then went back to work, soon forgetting the simple question he left. It was towards the end of his shift when he noticed the bright blue note, stuck to the edge of a counter. He picked it up, and read the answer in messy handwriting under his own font-like script. _Twenty._

After that, the notes became a common occurrence. A note on a coffee cup, followed by an answer on the same scrap of paper after he left. Saihara always answered them, somehow placing it on the pick-up counter without Kiibo noticing. He was very quiet, the boy noticed and seemed to keep to himself.

_Do you go to college?_  
_Yes. Second year._

_Do you work full time?_  
_No, but I work full hours some days._

_Is that your car?_  
_Yes._

_Do you only work in the summer, or during the school year as well?_  
_Mostly during the summer, but if I’m needed during the school year, I’ll work._

Kiibo couldn’t think of a job that would have those hours, with the kind of outfit Saihara wore. He felt it would be rude to ask, as he was already being pretty invasive with his sticky notes. He decided to leave one last note before giving the poor boy a break.

_Why do you come here for coffee? And so suddenly?_  
_It’s charming, close to my work and school, and the coffee is good._

Kiibo stared at the sticky note, before crumpling it and slipping it into his pocket. He seemed… reclusive, but nice. He didn’t know why he suddenly cared about this random guy, but they had an odd, almost acquaintance-friend relationship. He didn’t think much about the other outside of work, but he was curious for seemingly no reason. Maybe it was because his friends knew Saihara? Or maybe it was because the boy kept showing up, over and over again.

It was weird, but Kiibo wasn’t complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be afraid to leave your thoughts in the comments!


	2. You seem nice, but what for?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo was stuck on shift. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schools coming up, so I'll be posting about once a week.
> 
> This is a boring chapter, but trust me, it gets better. This is just the set up.

Kiibo was stuck on shift. Alone.

It wasn’t the first time he worked alone, and it wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t mind being the only employee in the small shop. In fact, he preferred it. It allowed him to daydream when business was too slow to continuously work. The cafe wasn’t always so empty, but late mornings and noon were the slowest, only getting a few customers per hour. Sometimes they would stick around and drink their coffee in the building, adding liveliness to the atmosphere. The one customer there seemed very keen on doing that.

This usually would be fine, great even, if that customer wasn’t Saihara, who had been there for about an hour by now. Alas, Kiibo continued to work alone in the underpopulated cafe, doing idle work and watching pedestrians walk by. He felt hyper-aware of what he was doing, trying his best not to do anything weird in the other's presence. Why was he so concentrated on that? He didn’t know. Or maybe he did, and he was pushing it away subconsciously.

From time to time, he would steal a glance to see if Saihara was still there. Indeed, he sat alone at a two-person table, scrolling through his phone and drinking his coffee as slow as humanly possible. His friends were correct, he was stunning. 

The morning light lit up his hair, making a soft and thin halo around his head, silhouetted against the bright window. His expression was tired but soft, not a single crease in his skin. He was almost doll-like. He was too far away to confirm if the light did make his eyes beautiful as Ouma had said, but he didn’t mind, as he already looked inhumanly pretty from a distance. 

He was peaceful and quiet, adding subtle tranquility to the scene. Kiibo worked as quietly as possible in an attempt not to disrupt the other. It was silly, but it felt that if he made too much noise, Saihara would run like a startled deer. So he worked silently and slowly, out of consideration, and nothing else.

As time ticked on, he wasn’t sure if silence was the best option. Saihara seemed to be waiting for something, tapping on the table surface with the pad of his finger. Kiibo didn’t know if he should attempt to make conversation, as they were the only people in the cafe, or let him be.

It didn’t matter in the end, his decision was made for him, as Saihara had gotten out of his seat and walked to the drink delivery counter. He asked for a straw once Kiibo was in range, which he provided wordlessly. It seemed like the boy was about to leave when he turned back around. “Do you happen to go to Hope’s Peak?”

He was taken aback by the question and began to sputter from having no time to think about a response. “I- uh- yes. Yes, I go to Hope’s Peak... Why do you ask?”

Saihara smiled and put his coffee (that had surely gone cold by now) on the counter. “That’s cool! I go there as well. I thought I recognized you. You took an advanced math class last year, right?”

Kiibo nodded slowly, racking his brain for any reason the other would know what class he had a year ago. 

“I had the same class as you! Though I sat in the very back, so I doubt you recognize me,” Saihara said, laughing lightly and rubbing the back of his neck.

The shorter boy hadn’t recognized Saihara from his class but felt that it would be rude to say it. He always took the front seats and minimized conversations with his peers. He felt bad he hadn’t recognized the other as a classmate.“Yeah, I remember you. Saihara, right?” He asked as if he wasn’t already sure that was his name.

Saihara’s face developed a slight glow from his blush. “Oh, so you do remember. I didn’t expect that, since we’ve never talked. I was sure you were unaware of my existence.”

He _wasn’t_ aware of the jittery boy’s existence before last week, but he nodded along as if he had. Maybe if he played it off well enough, he wouldn’t embarrass the both of them. “What year are you in?”

“Second,” Saihara answered, “and you?”

“Also second,” Kiibo said, suddenly wishing he was better at conversation, “Do you, uh, like music?”

That was the only thing Kiibo could think of to carry the conversation forwards. It was an awkward and harsh transition, and he wasn’t particularly happy with the way he said it. It had nothing to do with what Saihara had come up there to ask about, but he felt bad, giving minimal effort answers that mostly led to dead ends. He blamed it on Saihara being a stranger to him, but he knew deep down it was because he was suspicious of the other boy.

Did he start going to this cafe purely because he recognized someone from his class? That seemed unreasonable, but Kiibo couldn’t think of a better motive. Maybe it _is_ the reason and he’s looking too much into it. He’s most likely overthinking it.

“Yeah, but I don’t listen to it as often as I’d like. It’s not that I don’t have the time, but it’s hard to pay attention to work and listen to music at the same time. What about you?”

“I like music. It’s a good distraction and entertainment,” Kiibo began, “I wish I could make music, but I don’t have the skills. It’s not like I could use a program either because I can’t sing.”

That’s something he found sad. Kiibo adored music. It was interesting and powerful, but he could only admire it. He had no skills in playing music and didn’t understand how it worked. He couldn’t sing either so it's not like he could start a band. He had to admire it at a distance, too afraid to try his hand at it.

“I’m sure you can’t be _that_ bad.”

“No, I’m awful. If I could, I’d be producing music instead of making coffee,” he said, retrieving a box of sanitized wipes.

“You should at least try, right?” 

Kiibo shook his head, wiping down the table and avoiding looking at Saihara. The other didn’t look Kiibo in the eyes, so he found it uncomfortable, looking at someone who avoided eye contact. “As I said, I’m really bad. Zero musical talent. But I’ll appreciate it when I can.”

“If that’s so, I have a friend who plays the piano. She has a recital in a few days. It’s classical, but if that’s your style, I could give you a ride over,” Saihara offered, an assuring smile on his face.

He didn’t mind classical music, and actually enjoyed piano, but he didn’t know the other all too well. Would it be rude to decline the offer? Or would it be a bother making Saihara drive him to a recital for a girl he didn’t know?

Before Kiibo could come to a proper conclusion, the other began to speak again. “I have two tickets and was originally going to bring a close friend, but he canceled last second. I don’t mean to boast about Kaede, my friend who plays the piano, but she’s incredibly good, and the tickets cost a lot. I was lucky enough to get two free, as a courtesy for being close. If it isn’t any interference with your schedule, I would be more than happy to take you. The spare ticket would go to waste otherwise.”

Now it felt like he would insult the rambling man if he declined. He could either accept and trust the near-stranger, or decline and possibly hurt the boy's feelings. Saihara hadn’t done or said anything suspicious yet, only appearing awkward and poorly presented. He sighed, throwing the wipes into the trash and putting the box away. “Okay, I’ll go. It seems interesting. What did you say your friend's name is?”

“Kaede. Kaede Akamatsu. Thank you so much for agreeing to go! I’ve got to leave, but I appreciate you agreeing to talk to me. I didn’t expect you to remember me, but I’m happy you do. Bye, I’ll see you around!” Saihara exclaimed, dashing towards the exit. 

He was almost hit by the opening glass door, faced with Ouma and Amami, who were bickering with an air of friendliness. A quick apology and he was gone, leaving the two coworkers in confused silence. Ouma looked to Kiibo, who was still standing behind the pickup counter. “What was that about?”

He shrugged, tossing each the ratty, cream aprons they were issued. Amami walked to the customer side of the counter and pointed to an object on it. A bright, blue sticky note clung to the edge. “What’s this?”

Kiibo reached over and peeled it off. _In case you need to contact me. (xxx)xxx-xxx (Shuichi Saihara)_

“A phone number,” He said as if that wasn’t obvious.

Ouma peeked over Kiibo’s shoulder, balancing on his tippy toes. “From Saihara? Oooh, Kiiboy! This is your chance to get some!”

The poor boy yelped at the accusation, tripping over himself in an attempt to deflect it. “No, that’s not it! I don’t want that, besides it would be immoral and taking advantage!”

“He’s not wrong, Kiibo,” Amami said, often backing up whatever Ouma says, “This is your chance, if you like boys. He seems friendly towards you and even left his number. If that sends out any signals, it means he’s interested in you.”

Kiibo’s nose wrinkled. Interested? Why? As far as he’s aware, Saihara was just being nice. “It’s not like that. He left his number because he invited me to a recital,” He explained.

“Oh, so it’s a date! Wowie, Kiibie, you’re on a roll! Next thing you know, you'll be married with two kids,” Ouma joked, opening a new bag of coffee beans, which scattered everywhere, “Fuck.”

Amami grabbed the dustpan and broom off the wall, helping Ouma clean the beans. “You’re going, right?”

Kiibo was tempted to say no, just to get them off his ass, but he wasn’t the type to lie for his own benefit. “Yes, but it’s only because his original plus one couldn’t make it.”

“Backup bitch is better than nothing,” Ouma sang, letting Amami clean up his mess.

“We aren’t romantically involved. The topic happened to come up and I was offered. He seemed excited, so I didn’t want to refuse. That’s all, nothing lovey-dovey,” he explained, untying his apron.

“Yeah, well, you should at least _try_. He’s pretty and nice. I’d jump on that in a heartbeat,” Ouma claimed.

“Then why don’t you?”

“Amami’s already my bitch.”

“No, I’m not,” Rantaro clarified, tossing the beans into the trash.

“You’re no fun!” Ouma whined.

Kiibo smiled at his friends-slash-coworkers. “My shift is over, so I’ll be leaving.”

After a few quick goodbyes, he made his way to the bus stop, and searched up Saihara’s friend, to see if there were any details on her. It felt stalker-ish, but he pushed the thought to the side. _It’s out of curiosity,_ He justified.

A quick google search and he found out that Kaede Akamatsu is a _very_ famous pianist, who goes on worldwide tours to perform music. The tickets, he discovered, could cost anywhere between one thousand to five thousand dollars. The price was jaw-dropping, and Kiibo could only hope that Saihara wasn’t lying when he said he got them for free.

A handful of minutes passed before the boy pulled out his phone and added the number he received to his contacts under “Shuichi Saihara”. He sent a short and simple message, asking for the details of the recital. He didn’t have to wait long until he received a response.

**You:** _Hey, it’s Kiibo. What day and time will the recital be? And the address as well, if you don’t mind._

**Shuichi Saihara:** _Wednesday, six pm. You don't need the recital address, I’ll drive us._

Another message followed shortly after, containing Saihara’s address. Maybe Ouma and Amami were right. Maybe he is making a move. Or maybe, Kiibo is overthinking things again. Either way, he agreed to go, and it was far too late to back out now.

_Digging my own grave,_ Kiibo thought to himself, stepping onto the bus home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please tell me your thoughts.


	3. Do I like you, or the idea of you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll see you around?” He asked, seemingly uncertain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. I'm changing the schedule, again. It'll be once every two weeks, due to the fact that I write two fics at once. School has been taking up a lot of energy and time, so that's why I'm reverting to my old schedule. I hope you understand! Thank you! Enjoy this chapter.

Kiibo skipped up the steps, two at a time, to reach the level Saihara lived on. His breath wheezed and rasped. He should exercise more if a few flights of stairs made him flushed and sweaty. 

He discovered that the other boy lived in an apartment complex about thirty minutes from his own living space. He was afraid he would be late, as he got lost once the bus dropped him off. Eventually, he found the place he was looking for, just minutes before he was supposed to arrive. Speed walking (as it would be rude to run) down the halls, he tried to find the number on the doors that matched the one Saihara sent him.

He found it, a single minute before planned arrival. Kiibo hated being late, but he also didn’t want to be early. So he waited, checking his phone to see if it was yet six o’clock. He dusted down his shirt and felt anxieties soon clutter his mind. Was he dressed _too_ casually? 

He was wearing a button-up and a pair of well-ironed pants. He didn’t own anything fancy, and he hadn’t planned on going to a several-thousand dollar recital. He was beginning to regret his choice of clothing. He at least left his typical headphones at home, feeling it wouldn’t be taken well if he brought them. His neck felt bare without the weight of the device. He rubbed at it, feeling that he was missing something, and knowing what it was.

What if he was supposed to arrive a little late? Would he make a bad impression by arriving right on the dot? Would Saihara think he was weird? There’s no way that his attire would be suited for a piano recital. More like a trip to the beach on a mild temperature day. 

Kiibo checked his phone and jumped. Amid his thinking, it had turned six. He knocked on the door and waited. Soon, and he meant _soon_ , the door opened, revealing Saihara. He was definitely dressed for the occasion. Dress pants, a long-sleeved white button-up, and a matching, well-fitted pinstripe vest. He looked more prepared to be the best man at a wedding.

He laughed internally. Either Kiibo was severely underdressed, or Saihara had overdressed. Judging how he did a once-over, he assumed it was the first option. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything fancy,” Kiibo explained, having to look a ways up to meet the other's eyes. 

Saihara smiled, soft and warm. An odd thing to receive from a still near stranger. “That’s alright. I’m sure you’ll be fine. No one will be paying any mind, anyways,” He said, closing the door behind him and locking it.

Those words comforted Kiibo, but it raised a few questions. “Then why are you dressed up?”

“Oh, I always dress well for Kaede’s recitals. It’s customary since I know her personally. I think she would be a little offended if I showed up in a sleep-shirt and khakis.” Saihara laughed, light and sweet. 

It made Kiibos heart falter, but he wasn’t certain if it actually happened. It was the sort of thing that seemed too odd to be plausible. Saihara spoke again, digging through his pockets for something. “We should get going. The show starts in an hour and the drive’s fairly long.”

Kiibo nodded. “Are we taking the train?” He asked, noting how buses were slow due to how many stops they made.

“What? No,” the other said, confused, “I have a car. We’re taking that.”

“Oh, right,” Kiibo muttered, embarrassed that he had forgotten Saihara drove, instead of using public transport.

They headed for the elevator, which Kiibo didn’t use because he didn’t have an access key. Well, that wasn’t the real reason he didn’t use it. He wasn’t aware the apartment had an elevator (he should have guessed since he lives in an apartment as well), and instead took the stairs. He only felt a little ashamed for not trying to find one.

Once they reached the bottom, Saihara began to walk quickly, making Kiibo trip over his own footing trying to catch up. _His legs are so long, keeping up is an effort!_ He thought to himself.

Saihara either didn’t care about his struggle or didn’t notice, keeping the same pace until they reached a sleek black car. It didn’t look expensive, but instead, well cared for. It wasn’t a bad car either, probably in the mid-price range, if he had to guess. He was no expert though, so he couldn’t be sure.

The tall boy gestured to the door. “You first,” he said before moving to the driver's side. 

The inside was also well kept for. Saihara must be fairly clean and well organized if the state of his vehicle vouched for his habits. It smelled good too. Like wood and fabric softener. He couldn’t find an air freshener, so he assumed the car was either new, or the owner was incredibly good at keeping things nice and clean.

Kiibo found himself wondering what the inside of Saihara’s apartment was like. He didn’t have time to entertain the thought before the subject of it started the vehicle. “Alright, let’s go. I hope you ate early, because this isn’t a wine and dine sort of place.”

Kiibo doesn't eat early, but there was no way he would tell the other that. He would have to settle with eating once he returned. He hoped he would get back before midnight. Going twelve hours without food wouldn’t be wise.

They pulled out of the driveway and set down the road, heading towards the highway.

The drive was in fact long, like the boy claimed. Not long enough to be bothersome, but long enough to leave awkward silences in the failed attempts at small talk. He didn’t know who was worse at social interactions, Saihara, or him.

They made it to the auditorium safely, the sun setting in front of them. It was incredibly beautiful, leaving an indescribable weight in his chest. He didn’t get to marvel at the sky, leaking its hues into everything it touched. 

They parked the car in the overcrowded lot, and got out, stretching their legs. Saihara led him to the building, which had a line going out of it for what looked like miles. He walked right past the line, Kiibo following with uncertainty. They eventually reached a set of double doors, where the line had split in two. Saihara walked right up to one of the people and showed them an ID and two tickets. “Shuichi Saihara. I have a plus one.”

The man gave a single nod, watching intently as the two entered the main room. “The guards here always scare me. I’m pretty sure they’re all plotting my demise,” Saihara said, lightening the serious atmosphere.

Kiibo hummed in agreement, observing his surroundings. Hundreds of chairs sat in rows around the grand stage in a semicircle, each colored in a deep red fabric. The walls were lined with a deep and rich wood, illuminated by a chandelier above them. The curtains were drawn, the same color as the seats, signaling they were not late. Saihara had lied about him not being underdressed. It looked expensive, and Kiibo felt out of place.

Saihara guided him to one of the seats by the front. Not too close and not too far. He was only growing more impressed and unsure as time went on. They took their seats as the last of the line trickled in. He was relieved when the lights dimmed, making it hard to see who was sitting next to him. 

About fifteen minutes and an intercom crackled and the crowd silenced, though they weren’t very loud, to begin with. “Hello, hello. Welcome one and all, to Kaede Akamatsu’s piano recital. I hope you enjoy the performance. Please silence your phones and finish your conversations. Thank you, enjoy!”

The curtains slowly opened to reveal a grand piano. He was close enough to see that it was most likely the most expensive object he had ever seen. The girl sitting at the piano was dressed in a pastel pink ball gown, pooling at her feet. Her hair was long, the strands by her face pinned back in two thin braids, meeting in the center of the rest of it. She stretched her hands in front of her with a closed-mouth smile that made up for the room's lack of light.

Akamatsu, he assumed, began to play. The notes started slow and sad but picked up as the song went on. Towards the end, her hands and fingers blurred, working to weave her music like a spider with her web. 

It was entrancing, to put it lightly. Kiibo almost forgot to listen to the music, for he was enraptured by the speed and precision Akamatsu displayed, sweat beading on her brow from concentration. The final notes sprung into action, slow and far between, but high and shrill like a bird singing to the new day. 

Once the song was well over, everyone around them gave applause, and rightfully so. Kiibo spared a glance in Saihara’s direction. He was beaming, obviously proud of his friends' work. His eyes were glued to the girl on the stage, and for a brief moment, their gazes met, and Akamatsu beamed. 

He had no choice to believe they were in a relationship. The look they shared held such deep emotion, it would be foolish to name it anything other than love. He didn’t know why, but the thought made Kiibo tense, an ugly feeling crumbling inside of him. _What is wrong with me?_

In the corner of his eye, he saw Saihara looking at him. He looked back, for a second, before his face began to burn. He adjusted his gaze back to the pianist, a gold gaze imprinted behind his own. The dim lights above didn’t let him see much, but there was an unmistakable glow, metaphorical and otherwise.

Then, the crowd finished their applause. The girl began the next song, even more, impressive than the last.

The recital lasted somewhere around two hours. Kiibo thanked himself for being so in love with music. If he were anyone else, he may have grown bored. 

No. Akamatsu’s performance was too great for anyone to get bored from it. He understood now why the tickets were so expensive. They waited for the rest of the auditorium to filter out before moving, neither moving from their seats. Maybe they were waiting for the other to get up first?

“I’m going to talk with Kaede, would you like to come with me?” Saihara offered, tilting his head towards the door leading backstage.

Kiibo jumped at the opportunity to meet someone with such musical talent. “I would be honored,” He stated politely.

They walked down the rows, dodging other people, who were walking in the opposite direction. They reached the doors, and Saihara pushed it open, letting Kiibo go first. He nodded in thanks and passed through into the brightly lit halls.

Saihara quickly caught up and they passed through the hall with silence. He suddenly stopped in front of a plain, white door with the performer's name written on paper taped to it. “This is the room,” he announced. 

The smaller boy felt a surge of nervousness as Saihara entered without knocking. They must be very close. 

Akamatsu was sitting at a vanity mirror, wiping her makeup off. Seeing the two boys in the reflection, she immediately turned around. “Shuichi! I’m so glad you made it!” She squealed, jumping out of her seat and running to the other.

The moment they met, she picked him up and spun him once. It was impressive, considering Saihara’s height. Everything about Akamatsu seemed impressive.

Saihara laughed, unlike anything Kiibo had heard from him before. This one wasn’t nervous or careful. Instead, it was deep and full. Genuine.

“I’m so happy you’re back,” Saihara said, holding the other close in his arms, “It feels like it’s been forever.”

“It has been forever, silly! What have you gotten up to in the past two years? Any girlfriends? Any boyfriends?”

Kiibo could try all he wanted to ignore the way Akamastsu glanced at him.

Saihara shook his head, wearing a somber smile. His cheeks were flushed and he shifted on his feet. “No luck. Still as single as ever.”

“Aw, don’t be so down about it,” Akamatsu cooed, pinching her friend's cheeks, “You’ll find someone! Maybe you should loosen up a bit.”

She turned her attention away from Saihara. “So! Who are you? Treating my homeboy well, right?” She asked, hands on her hips.

At least Kiibo could say for sure they were not in a relationship. “I’m Idabashi, but I would prefer it if you call me by my first name, Kiibo.”

“Okay, Kiibo! It’s nice to meet you! I’m glad Saihara is finally making friends. For a while, I was afraid he would be stuck with the same three people.”

Saihara nudged Akamatsu, and she simply rolled her eyes. “I was the one who set Kaito up to be busy today. I thought if Saihara had a spare ticket, that costs more than his crappy apartment, by the way, he would be forced to find someone to give it to! Lucky I was right, huh?”

“That was you?” Saiahra asked in betrayal.

“You bet,” She giggled, “So, Kiibo, did you enjoy the performance?”

“Yes, I did! You are very talented, Akamatsu. I was honored to be invited,” Kiibo half-bowed, trying not to slip up in front of such a talented person. 

“No need to be so formal, Kiibo!” Akamatsu announced, reaching out to hold his shoulder, “You’re a friend of Saihara, so you’re a friend of mine!”

She yawned and stepped around Kiibo, reaching for the door. “Anyway, I’m exhausted. That show has me beat! It’s good to know I’ll be getting a full night's rest though! I’ll see you both around, hopefully. It was nice meeting you, Kiibo! Goodbye.”

With that, she was gone. 

“So,” Saihara began, “What did you think?”

“About the show or Akamatsu?”

“Both.”

“The performance was amazing. I see why she’s so famous. As for Akamastu herself? She’s very… smiley.”

Saihara laughed at that, the two of them getting closer and closer to the exit. “Yeah. She’s super positive. You get used to it and grow to love it. We’ve been friends since forever and was the one to introduce me to all of my current friends. Except you, of course.”

Kiibo nodded as Saihara opened the door for him. “Thank you, for inviting me.”

“Anytime,” He responded before getting in from the other side.

The ride back was just as silent as the one there, asides from Kiibo giving the other his address to be dropped off at. He felt bad, having Saihara drive him around. He felt like he should be able to get from place to place by himself, but he supposed this was necessary. He was at least relieved he didn’t live too far from his home but was sorry to cost Saihara the extra fifteen minutes. Maybe it seemed like a shorter drive because they didn’t halt at every bus-stop.

“What are you considering for your career?”

The question came from nowhere, and Kiibo searched his mind for a good enough answer. “I don’t know the exact details yet, but it’ll be something in robotics, for sure.”

“That’s cool! When did you get an interest in robotics?”

“Ah, sometime in sixth grade, I believe,” Kiibo said, recalling the memory, “My class went to a robotics museum, and I was so interested that I focused my studies towards it for the next five years.”

“It’s nice to hear that you’re so sure of the field your profession will be in.”

The conversation fell flat for a moment before Kiibo realized he needed to find a way to continue it. “What about you? What career path are you following?”

“Criminal justice. I wanted to be a lawyer at first, but that changed when I discovered I could be actively involved. It’s not enough for me to help the victim far after the offense, but being there, at the scene, and helping find the suspects feels more help than accusing someone of wrongdoing in court.”

That was interesting. Saihara seemed like the kind of guy to stay out of the action, instead of working face to face with it. “That’s… admirable,” He stated truthfully.

“Thank you, though I wish I was a better fit for the job.” The taller laughed, hands gripping the steering wheel.

Kiibo turned his attention away from the other man and looked out the window. They were in his neighborhood now, and the car was winding through the parking lot. Soon, it came to a stop by the curbside, in front of his apartment building.

“This is where we part, I believe,” Saihara said, offering a smile. 

“Thank you, again, for taking me to the recital. I had a good time, and I’m glad to have gotten the chance to witness it,” Kiibo stated before stepping out of the car.

“I’ll see you around?” He asked, seemingly uncertain.

“Yeah.”

Kiibo turned around and walked towards the lit building, the sound of a car driving away lingering in his mind. He felt a sense of joy and relaxation, all the way until he was standing in front of his flat, card in the slot. It blinked and the door popped open, allowing the boy entry. He headed to sleep immediately, but not before changing into something more comfortable first. 

He stared at the ceiling, tired beyond comprehension, yet unable to shut down. His mind lingered on the same thing over and over again, like a bird circling its prey.

_Saihara this, Saihara that,_ his mind chanted. _Saihara looked nice tonight,_ it sang. _Saihara is nice,_ it said. _Saihara is interested in what you have to say,_ it cooed. _Saihara is calm and collected, he’s pretty and graceful, he’s attentive and kind,_ it chimed. _Saihara is everything you aren’t,_ it whispered.

Then, finally, the last string of characters, the last line of the code. _You adore Saihara._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kinda sucks, but I hope it's readable. Grammarly says it's good, so I hope it is.
> 
> I've been feeling pretty down lately, so if my writing is lacking, it's not because I'm trying to make it that way. Feedback is super cool and I love it ^_^


	4. Am I seeing things?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each and every time Kiibo saw the boy, he would fall further and further into his self-proclaimed crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? Yes. Just as lame as the last one? Probably. Hotel? Trivago? Delivery? No, it's DiGiorno.

It had been a few weeks since Kiibo and Saihara had gone to Akamatsu’s recital. Just like before, Saihara would come to the cafe now and then to order his coffee. Each and every time Kiibo saw the boy, he would fall further and further into his self-proclaimed crush.

He couldn’t even be sure he could call it a crush. He’s never had one before, and every time he looks up the symptoms, he would get confirmation of his suspicion, or the browser would tell him he’s dying of heart failure. If he’s being honest, both were equally plausible.

Kiibo was certain his coworkers picked up on his feelings, due to the side glances and snickers they made when Saihara was so much as mentioned. It was even worse when the subject of his racing thoughts was present. Ouma had told him his face went so red, it was almost blue. 

Needless to say, he was embarrassed. 

Amami wasn’t much better, throwing a slightly suggestive comment from time to time, Ouma cackling at Kiibo’s reaction. He once broke a glass when Amami whispered, “I swear to Autua, he’s undressing you with his eyes.”

Amami owes him fifteen dollars for the expenses.

Kiibo’s new affections weren’t the only sudden change in his life though. School had recently started up, and he was thrown back into the time demanding and energy-consuming routine. On the bright side, he shared an advanced calculus class and a biology class with Saihara. 

He sat in the front, like usual, but for the classes he shared with the boy? He went out of his way to sit at the same table, near the back. Saihara welcomed him with open arms and a shy smile. Giddy would be the word to explain Kiibo’s response.

He would leave trinkets, too. It was a drive he couldn’t explain. If he saw a rock, shell, feather, or sometimes, a cool stick, he would pick it up and save it for later. Later being on Saihara’s desk the next day. He always arrived far too early to be necessary. Even the professor was surprised when Kiibo would walk in a solid ten minutes before the class started. They would raise an eyebrow every time he left a trinket on the other’s desk. Once, they outright asked him why the boy showed up so early every other day.

The teacher eventually figured it out, laughing quietly behind his hand every time Saihara would stare at his desk, confused by the gifts that appeared every so often. 

Saihara, unlike Kiibo, showed up seconds before the bell, sleep still in his eyes and bags stark against his skin. He didn’t live far from campus, so he must be a chronic oversleeper. Kiibo would sometimes catch glimpses of the other’s journal, seeing a suspects list of people who could possibly be leaving the objects. 

Kiibo choked on air when he saw the top suspect was a crow.

He almost thought the professor was getting too involved on purpose, teaming the two together at any possible chance. He didn’t know if he should be grateful for the kindness, or embarrassed by his obviousness. It’s not like Kiibo was making an effort to _hide_ it, he just wasn’t outright saying it. He should set up an appointment with the teacher and ask him to stop, but he wanted to be a little selfish. Just once.

Saihara soon learned that Kiibo was awful at biology. It was too early in the year for them to have accurate grades, but by the look of shock from Saihara, that Kiibo had somehow gotten _every_ question on the worksheet wrong, was enough for him to catch on. He was even kind enough to help tutor the boy later.

For being such a great of a detective, Saihara was awfully dense. Dense or in denial, but Kiibo liked to believe that it was the first. Even some of the classmates had caught on, giving him a little shove whenever they were in close quarters. They thought they were helping, but it only made Kiibo’s nerves spike.

Then again, the reason he wasn’t yet caught may be due to his awful and vague form of “flirting”. Could it even be called flirting? It was more like what you would expect from a bird’s courting rituals, giving gifts from the floor and making awkward sounds whenever flustered.

Even a girl, who had never met Saihara before, saw Kiibo’s lovesick expression and called him out on it. Admittedly the way she had said it made him short-circuit, sputter, and trip on his words. In the end, she had cooed over his affections, claiming to have gotten a “second-hand boner” from him. 

That was almost as embarrassing as being tripped and having Saihara grab the front of his sweater collar. He could still taste the coffee, his breath, and the vanilla clinging to his skin.

That’s how he found himself in the library, with the boy of his affections, far too warm under the grey fabric of his hoodie. The words Saihara was speaking went in one ear, and out the other. He knew he was going to have to study later because he could not learn anything with the other so close. 

Every time one would move, their arms would brush against each other. Kiibo was board stiff, far too afraid to make accidental skin to skin contact. Amid Saihara’s tangent, he stood up, walking to his left side, leaning down so that they were almost cheek to cheek. _This had to be on purpose, right?_

Maybe he simply didn’t know what personal space was.

He shouldn’t have worn a turtleneck that day. It’s too warm. He felt as if he may die of heat stroke or heart failure or both. 

“Kiibo? Kiibo, are you there?” Saihara asked, waving a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? Sorry, I zoned out. I haven’t been sleeping well,” Kiibo explained.

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the outright truth either. Sleeping had become a little more difficult with the boy on his mind, but it wasn't to the point that he couldn’t focus. It was more that Kiibo couldn’t concentrate with Saihara so close to him. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you doing well? You look a little warm. Do you have a fever?” 

He might as well caught a fever the moment the back of Saihara’s hand touched his face. Shaking his head and batting the others arm away he tried his best to prevent further blushing. “No, no! I’m not. Just a bit warm, that’s all. I promise I’m fine.”

Saihara’s eyebrows pinched together with worry. The expression was cute. “Maybe you shouldn’t be wearing so many layers? If they’re causing problems, you should take one off.”

The sound that escaped Kiibo’s mouth was reminiscent of that of a broken fax machine, making the other boy jump back, surprised that anyone could possibly make a sound like that. If he didn’t feel like being engulfed in fire before, he did now. He swore he cried, just a little.

“No, I think I’ll be fine,” He wheezed, sweat beading on his face, proving his claim wrong.

“If you say so.”

The two of them continued with their tutoring, Kiibo too flustered and distracted to actually learn, and Saihara too oblivious to notice. Soon, Kiibo’s body temperature returned to normal, coming down from being so flustered and put on the spot. He stared at his half-finished biology assignment in disgust. Saihara sat next to him, reading something for one of his own classes.

He returned his attention to his homework, the fourth question taunting him. He was never good with biology, much less _human_ biology. For someone studying his own kind, Kiibo was oblivious to how they worked. He didn’t even want to take the class. He just needed something to fill his class slots. He would drop the class if Saihara wasn’t in it.

_What is the temperature in which fevers become fatal?_

_~~Shuichi Saihara~~ one-hundred four degrees fahrenheit_

This had to be some sick form of torture, hand-delivered from whatever forces ran the universe. He should quit while he’s ahead and save himself the trouble. He could continue living his life, revolving around machines and math with the occasional coffee. It would be simply peaceful. He would never have to deal with these feelings again.

He would have taken up the opportunity if a set of voices didn’t oppose it. _This would be a great opportunity to learn! Knowing your track record, it may be another twenty years before you find someone who fits your fancy! You may as well give it a shot, right?_

Deciding that the voices that took a suspiciously similar form of Amami and Ouma were right, he agreed that it would at least be a good opportunity to learn about love. It couldn’t be too bad. Besides, if all went wrong, he could always return to life before Saihara. Boring, one-track mind life. 

He took another glance at the boy, still reading his book. Why did he have to look so beautiful in every situation? Was there ever a moment he looked awful? Even with the subtle circles under his eyes, and ash grey skin, he looked ethereal. Somewhat like a minimalist painting, the only colors popping out of the greys and blacks were a deep blue and honey gold. It was unfair. In both artificial and natural light, he could bend everyone’s will with a bat of those long lashes.

Saihara closed his book, slowly. Kiibo looked away, as if the action burned him, wanting anything but to be caught staring. The other stood up with grace, long legs unfolding. “Well, I need to go home. I hope I helped you, even if it was only a little bit. I’m not the greatest teacher, so I hope I didn’t cause more confusion.”

Kiibo nodded watching him gather his things and sling his bag over his back. “Yeah. Thank you so much for helping. I appreciate the efforts. Maybe I’ll get higher than a fifty on the test.”

“Oh, one more thing,” Saihara said, putting one hand on Kiibo’s shoulder and leaning into his ear, “I know it’s you. The one leaving gifts on my desk?”

Kiibo’s casual expression and demeanor did a quick one-eighty, squeaking, and jolting into a stiff posture once again. He was at a loss for words, unable to string together a coherent statement. That wasn’t needed because Saihara continued to speak. 

“I thought it was a bird at first. Maybe it figured out how to use a window latch, but I don’t remember seeing any crows around. Besides, crows don’t have opposable thumbs. You’re the only one who constantly interacts with me in the classes they appear. You also sit the closest to me in the class they show up the most in. The last point, I’ve caught the instructor looking between you and I frequently. It has to be you.”

Silence.

Saihara wasn’t as dense as he seemed, was he?

“It’s okay, Kiibo. I think it’s charming. Cute, even. If it is you, you can give it to me personally, I don’t bite.”

Saiahra left after that statement, the library door closing behind him. Kiibo was left frozen at the table, papers, and books sprawled around it, boring a hole into his soul. _What in the world was that?_ His mind screamed. 

Confusion flooded him, making his heart sputter. _Did that mean anything? Why was he so close? Did he call the gifts cute? Is this what Ouma calls sexual tension? I want to go home._

Kiibo stood frantically, lacking the grace and diligence Saihara held. He collected the book and papers, creating an uneven stack and shoving it into his bag. Tripping over himself, to the point he fell on the way to the door (the librarian was incredibly unhappy with that, giving a harsh hush). With the length of time he spent staring at nothing, the other boy had to be off-campus, meaning he could freely run to the bus stop, without colliding into him. 

Step after step, he crossed the campus, the objects in his bag jostling. Some of the papers had flown out since he forgot to close his bag. Making several stops to pick up his things, he eventually made it to the bus stop, arms full of loose material.

His heart was still pounding, and he was sure his face was still red, from embarrassment or exertion. Sighing, he sat on the bench, happy to have caught a short break. Since when had his life gotten this _weird_? That interaction wasn’t just strange to himself, right?

Was he seeing things that aren’t there? Did Saihara like him back? That had to be it, right? Why else would he do and say those things! He could be overthinking it though.

Yeah. That had to be it. He was overthinking the interaction. He would need more evidence before he could come to a proper conclusion. 

He had a mission to fulfill. Then he could choose a course of action. If he’s uninterested and Kiibo is overthinking things, he’ll distance himself and get rid of the feelings. There’s no use in sticking around someone with romantic intentions if it’ll never happen.

If it was mutual attraction, well, Kiibo didn’t know what he would do. He didn’t know if he was ready for a relationship just yet. He had only recently developed feelings for the first time, but he was sure the two of them could figure something out.

It’s only a matter of time, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vent chapter? More like vent fic.
> 
> From here on out things will be getting speedy. Keeping up will be a pain, even for me. :")
> 
> Sorry for OOC character stuff. I try, and fail miserably. U////U


	5. Why am I like this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know you’re jealous, Kiibo. Make sure not to let it get in between Momota and Saihara. What they have is special, and it will only hurt you if you do something stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Kiibo? Jealous Kiibo.
> 
> Anyways, have a late update and a good day!

Life with Saihara in it was pleasant and routine. On the weekends and a few afternoons each week, he would come in and order a coffee while Kiibo was on shift, stick around for a bit, and then leave. In class, they would cooperate greatly, finishing the assignments well before they were due. When Kiibo wasn’t in the other’s presence, he was thinking about him.

There wasn’t a minute where Saihara didn't cross his mind. It felt like one hundred times a day that his mind would focus on the boy. It was stressful, having feelings he had no idea what to do with, but he liked them. To an extent. 

On one hand, it made him light and giddy, Saihara being the highlight of the day. On the other, it made him nervous and nauseous, and a little jealous of anyone who would so much as talk to him. Kiibo was sure to keep those emotions under check, but it didn’t stop them from existing.

Maybe that’s why his heart soared then crashed when he heard the familiar bell, signaling someone's entry ( _Why_ Buddy? Why is he being so friendly? “So, what are you two doing?” He forced through slightly gritted teeth and clenched fists around his apron. 

“Not much, just sharing some bro time, right, Shuichi?” Momota laughed, clapping Saihara on the back.

Something sad and longing crossed over Saihara’s face, briefly, before vanishing. “Yeah, bro time. We stopped by because I wanted to show Kaito the cafe, and possibly introduce you two.”

Usually, he would be more than happy to have new customers, but this was one he would rather not see regularly. 

“It’s nice here,” Momota observed, “Very charming and authentic.”

 _He’s trying too hard to get on your good side._ A voice in Kiibo’s head fed him. “Thanks.”

The silence that followed was heavy and uncomfortable. Saihara looked between the two as if he hoped they would somehow start conversing again, Momota was looking everywhere but Kiibo, and Kiibo wanted nothing but to evaporate right then and there. Maybe if he feigned a migraine he could escape this awfully awkward situation. 

“Ah! I’m so sorry Kaito,” Saihara said with a start, “I forgot my uncle wanted a bunch of highly classified files to be dropped off today! I have to go, but I’ll be back in a few hours! We could meet up later today? Or reschedule if you want.”

“That’s okay Shuichi! Meet me at my place at two?”

“Sound’s good! I’ll see you soon,” He agreed, before pulling Momota into a hug.

The agonizing jealousy from before came back, more powerful than ever, as he watched the two hold each other closely. It seemed intimate enough that Kiibo felt like he was intruding on something sacred. Diverting his eyes, he waited for the bell to chime before looking back up. He was surprised to see Momota still standing in front of him, looking at him as if he were trying to diagnose him with a deadly disease. _Does he mind?_

“Is there anything more I can help you with?” Kiibo asked.

“No, no. Nothing, really. I’m just trying to figure out what Shuichi sees in you.”

That was out of left field. “What he sees in me? Sorry, I don’t follow.”

“He talks about you often, you know. ‘Kiibo this and Kiibo that'’. It would be adorable if he had the capacity to slow down,” Momoata stated, “I don’t get why he chose you of all people, but to each their own, I guess. Besides, you can’t be half bad if Shuichi has taken a liking to you.”

“Saihara talks about me?” Kiibo asked in disbelief, temperature spiking.

“Yeah, all the time. I probably know more about you than I should. Like how you have two classes with him, you take academics seriously, you’re not much of a talker, and you give Shuichi little trinkets all the time,” he listed off.

“Ah, that’s. Yeah, that’s me. I’m sorry about that, by the way. It must be annoying, hearing about me.”

“Nonsense! Any friend of Shuichi’s is a friend of mine! Which is why I’m inviting you over this weekend!”

Kiibo’s stomach dropped through the floor. Invite him over? This weekend? He didn’t want to think of himself as a skeptical person, but this was an exception. They just met. What reason could possibly justify that? “What?”

“Yeah! It’ll just be me, Shuichi, and Amami. You as well, if you agree to join us. Isn’t that right Amami?”

Amami gave them a thumbs up and returned to his phone, obviously listening in on their conversation.

“See? It’ll be fun, I promise. Just the bro’s, this Saturday at five pm. It’s overnight, so bring your nightly necessities. Here’s my phone number, text me and I’ll send you my address.”

Kiibo didn’t have time to accept or refuse the offer before Momota left, leaving him dazed and confused in the cafe, behind the counter. A sense of deja vu rushed through him. He turned to Amami and asked, “Did you know about this?”

“Hanging out with Saihara and Momota? Yes. About you being invited? No. Will you be going?” Amami asked, still on his phone.

He thought for a moment, weighing his options. Pros, he’ll get to see Saihara and get out of the house. Cons, Momota, and getting out of the house.

He seemed nice, but Kiibo’s jealousy made him dislike the man. It was an irrational bitterness, and he knew he had no right to feel the way he did. Maybe, going to Momota’s would help fix his jealousy. He might even enjoy himself. 

Yeah, he could enjoy himself, and grow closer to Amami and Saihara. Possible Momota too, if all went well. It couldn’t be all bad, could it?

“Yeah, I’ll go. It seems like fun, and I need to get out of the house more.”

“I know you’re jealous, Kiibo. Make sure not to let it get in between Momota and Saihara. What they have is special, and it will only hurt you if you do something stupid.”

 _Ouch._ It hurt, Amami taking Momota’s side, even if there were no sides. “Yeah, I know. I just want that same closeness,” He said with honesty that shocked even himself.

“It’s okay, it’s a human emotion, jealousy. I’m just warning you before you get yourself hurt. You’re my friend too, and I can’t sit and watch you tear down something you just got, okay? Jealousy is a disease, and it will kill you if you aren’t careful.”

“Yeah,” Kiibo muttered, guilt settling in.

It wasn’t fair. He wouldn’t have gotten “between” them, whether or not Amami warned him. He just isn't that kind of person. Yet, It still felt like a knife to the gut, knowing he will never have the bond Akamatsu and Momota have with Saihara. 

He _should_ quit while he’s ahead. There’s nothing worse than false hope, and Kiibo was beginning to believe it. Yeah, he would go to Momota’s place, but he needed to stop the feelings that were only growing more and more intense. At this rate, they would consume him whole, and that is a fate worse than death.

“Amami? I don’t think I want to like Saihara anymore.”

Amami put his phone away. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t like how my emotions are getting out of hand. If… if I feel this way every time I see anyone share something with Saihara, I would rather not feel anything for him at all.”

“Kiibo, it’s not that simple. You can’t just turn off your emotions like a light switch. Would it be better to give up, or to work through that flaw?”

He was silent for a moment, before answering. “I guess I would rather work through this.”

“That’s what I thought. No one can fix your issues, so I suggest you look into ways to fix it yourself.”

“Where would I even look?”

“I don’t know, the internet?”

“That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard,” Kiibo pointed out.

“Unless you have a better idea, that’s your best shot,” Amami sang. 

Sighing, Kiibo checked the clock. His shift was long from over, and he internally groaned. Only eleven am and he felt drained enough to self-quarantine for several months. A buzz from his phone called for his attention, dragging him foot first from his self-pity.

Shuichi Saihara: _are you okay? you seemed… off._

You: _Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just really tired today_

Shuichi Saihara: _oh, okay. I just thought I’d check in. you’re joining us on Saturday, right?_

You: _Yeah, I’ll ask for Momota’s address after my shift._

Shuichi Saihara: _Okay! I’ll see you then._

After sending a quick goodbye text, he returned to work, thankful that no new customers wandered in. In his peripheral, he could see Amami giving him a concerned, if not disappointed stare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow gross writing? Couldn't be me. U_U
> 
> I swear I'll make future chapters better :")
> 
> Life's hectic right now, with my social life dying, drama, my state burning to the ground, online school and this whole pandemic thing. I'm trying to stay on top of my fic's but please please PLEASE be lenient. I will not abandon any of my unfinished fics, and I promise to complete them, but posting will be an absolute shitshow.
> 
> I hope all of you are well! Have a good day.


	6. All for not?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next to him, he heard Amami mumble. “You should have never opened that window.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao I rewrote this chapter. I hated how it came out, so I did it again. I like this version a lot more. It follows the same sequence of events and what not, but I promise the experience is different. I also cut out the last bit. I dont need it lol. Please read it. I dont want the OG chapter 6 to haunt our minds any longer.

The knot in Kiibo's throat burned as he stood in front of Momota’s home. He was more than a little nervous. If having butterflies in your stomach meant nervousness, then Kiibo had an entire swarm of bees angrily buzzing in the pit of his gut. 

He almost considered turning back and claiming to have gotten sick at the last minute, but his will to see Saihara was overpowering. He continued to stare at the door as if it had committed some form of heinous crime. _Was he even invited? What if he had mistaken himself, and he wasn't invited at all and there wasn't even a party? What if there was a party and he was barging in? What if he was mistaken, and Momota invited the wrong person? What if-_

“Hey Kiibo,” A voice said from behind him.

Kiibo jerked as if he had grabbed the wire on a horse fence. “Amami?” he asked, swiveling around to see him only a few paces away.

“What are you waiting for? That door won’t open itself,” Amami jousted with a chuckle before knocking on the door.

Kiibo’s stomach plummeted through the floor. He hadn't concluded his complex game of _what if?_ Before he could turn around and run for the hills, the door threw itself open, revealing a beaming Momota. “You guys came! I was starting to worry something had happened. Well, come in and make yourself at home!”

The two stepped in, Momota almost forcefully taking their overnight bags off them and setting them next to the couch. “Saihara and I are still setting up if you want to help,” He said, walking away from the living room and towards a cabinet across the room.

“I’d be more than happy to help! Just tell me what with,” Kiibo replied with a curt bow, Amami nodding in agreement next to him.

Amami separated from Kiibo to trail Momota, leaving him alone by the door.

Now that Kiibo had the chance, he took in the interior of the home. The decor was simple and surprisingly clean, all themed white with a minimalist theme. It wasn’t at all what he expected and looked very similar to his own living space, just bigger. It helped him feel a little more comfortable in a foreign house.

“Hey, Kiibo!”

He turned around and jumped as if someone dropped a toaster in the bathtub while he was in it, effectively startling himself for the second time in the past five minutes. Saihara attempted to hide his smile and laugh from behind his hand but ultimately failed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, just startled,” Kiibo explained, clasping the fabric over his heart.

“If you say so. Anyway, upstairs and under the stairwell are the bathrooms. Behind the living room is the kitchen. Kaito has roommates, but they’re both doing stuff today, so you don’t need to worry about bothering them.”

“That explains how he affords a house. Honestly, I thought he might still be living with his mom. This place doesn't look very cheap.”

Saihara laughed at that, his cheeks rosy and eyes crinkled. It made Kiibo’s heart stumble and trip inside his chest.

“Oh, man! He would if he could! Whatever happens, don’t tell Kaito I told you this, but he’s a total mama’s boy. Last year, for Mother's day, I swear he nearly bought the entire Bath and Body Works stocks and supplies,” Saihara said, hushed under his hand.

“Really? He must be loaded,” Kiibo said, before quickly regretting it.

Why did he bring wealth up? Isn’t that incredibly rude? Great going Kiibo, five minutes in and you’ve already messed up.

“Hah, yeah. Believe it or not, but he got an internship at NASA, and receives a lot of money from tutoring and explaining pop culture based on math and science. He may not act like it but he’s really smart. If I weren’t so amazed, I’d be jealous.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

A twinge ran through Kiibo. Saihara thinks highly of Momota, doesn't he? He stomped his jealousy down before it engulfed him, now was not the time or place. Momota is highly accomplished in math and science, enough so to get the attention of NASA, which is an honorable and impressive feat. Kiibo should be honored to know him, not jealous.

“I’m amazed too. It explains how he’s a college student, living in a suburban neighborhood. Besides that, Momota mentioned you two are still setting up. What would you like me to do to help?” Kiibo asked, desperate to get away from the topic that is gushing about Momota.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m setting out snacks. You can help if you want? We’re just pouring things in a bowl and putting drinks in coolers,” Saihara explained, walking towards the kitchen.  
He tailed him as if he was a lost puppy (which he kind of was. Lost, not a puppy), stepping around Momota and Amami who were rolling out a blowup mattress. 

It was mindless work, setting out bowls and filling them. Finding the bags and treats in the cabinets and fridge was like a game of hide-and-seek or I-spy. Nonetheless, they ended with bowls of Cheetos, Doritos, yogurt pretzels, a box of donut-holes, popcorn, and corn chips. It wasn’t healthy in the slightest, but it was okay. Treats aren’t bad on occasion.

“Now that that’s done we can put the ice and the drinks in the cooler,” Saihara said, dragging the cooler out of the garage and into the kitchen.

“Sounds good.”

They both had to work to tip the ice into the cooler, both of them being scrawny and overall lacking strength. It worked out well enough, the cubes sliding into the cooler neatly and without a spill. Saihara turned and opened the fridge, reaching inside to pull out the drink selection. Placing them onto the counter so they could unpack and refrigerate them.

Mtn dew, Coke, water, and… beer.

“Saihara, we’re underage. This isn’t a good idea.”

“Relax, Kiibo. I’m twenty-one. I had my birthday last month. It’s fine. Besides, everyone here is at least twenty, and that’s close enough, right?” He said, cracking open the soda box.

“Your birthday was last month? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was important.”

Kiibo was about to chew him out about the importance of culture and celebration when the other two called out from the other room. “We’re done setting up the living room! All we need now are blankets and snacks, then we can get this show on the road.”

They spread out, Saihara and himself moving the snacks onto the coffee table in front of the couch. Momota and Amami raided rooms and cabinets for spare blankets. They eventually found themselves regrouped on the couch, flicking through movie options. 

“Any suggestions?” Momota asked. 

The other three boys looked between them, before shrugging.

“It’s settled then, we’re watching Toy Story.”

“That’s such a childish movie,” Amami stated, opening the cooler and fishing out a beer.

“Do you have any better ideas?” Momota asked, crossing his arms.

“No,” he said, shaking his head and cracking open the drink, “It was just a comment.”

All four of them made their way to the couch, claiming their spots for the movie. Kiibo sat on the far left, Amami next to him with Saihara and Momota on the other side. The movie wasn’t anything impressive, considering it simply wasn’t Kiibo’s taste. Actually, no films fit his taste, mostly because he didn’t like them, for the most part. It didn’t stop him from enjoying the others’ company, though.

Kiibo nearly fell asleep while watching the movie, uninterested in the petty drama made to suit children's issues and understandings. He didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t fascinating either. He almost sighed in relief when the credits started rolling, glad they could move on.

“Well,” Amami started, “Now what?”

“It’s seven-thirty, so we have time to kill,” Saihara said.

“But with what?” Momota asked, reaching for the snacks.

“Hmn, Halloweens coming up soon. What do you guys have planned?” Amami asked.

“Oh! Shuichi, Maki-roll, and I are going as Teletubbies this year!”

“I never agreed to that,” Saihara defended, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You can’t get out of it buddy!” Momota said, knocking Saihara’s arm.

Saihara muttered something under his breath, but it went undetected, aside from the rosy tint that resonated on his cheeks.

Momota turned to Amami, “What about you?”

“Nothing much. I’m going to a small party before Halloween, then I’m visiting my sisters for the actual day. They go all-out. It’s tradition to all go at once because it’s funny to see the look on people's faces when they see twelve, similarly-looking children in one spot.”

“Wait, what? Twelve? That’s crazy,” Momota stated.

“Yeah, It’s not too bad though. There are two sets of twins and triplets. The rest of us are Irish twins.”

“Irish twins?” Saihara asked.

“It’s when someone is born within two years of their sibling,” Amami explained.

Saihara and Momota ‘oohed’ in understanding.

“Kiibo, you haven’t told us what you’re doing,” Saihara said.

“Oh, I’m not doing anything. I’ll probably just get ahead in my classes or play some video games since I haven’t done that in a while.”

“What? You aren’t doing anything?” Momota asked, baffled.

Kiibo shrugged. “Halloween isn’t my thing.”

“Your loss, dude.”

“You should have seen us last year! We didn’t all go dressed up, but it was still fun!” Momota said, putting an arm across Saihara’s shoulders and pulling him in so that their sides were flushed against each other. 

Something akin to anger and betrayal stirred underneath Kiibos poker face, something he had gotten very good at when dealing with Saihara and his friend. He didn’t notice the conversation kept going until a phone was shoved towards him by Amami, his stone-cold gaze meeting Kiibos' tired one. He looked at the phone, taking a second to realize it was a photo that was being shown to him.

It was from last Halloween, with Momota, Saihara, and another girl. Their costumes were nothing short of ridiculous, featuring Momota in a once piece rocket ship blow up, and Saihara averting his gaze from the camera dressed as a planet. Kiibo smiled out of politeness and handed the phone back to its rightful owner.  
“We couldn’t get Harukawa to join us, but we’ll be sure to get her this year. Right, Shuichi?”

Saihara, who had to of caught a fever in the last minute or so, smiled and nodded in agreement. 

“So, Momota, why do you love space so much?”

“Oh, well I’ve always loved space, particularly as a little kid. It was never a tangible thing for me though, until my parents took me to a planetarium for my twelfth birthday. A guy who worked for NASA was presenting there, and I managed to talk to him after the show. I asked if I could ever go to space and he was nothing but supportive. He didn’t beat around the bush when he said it would take a lot of hard work and effort! Ever since then, I’ve done everything I can to achieve my dreams. I can still hear the words he spoke to me that day. Everything is possible, even the impossible! You just have to make it so.”

“That’s very inspiring. I wish you the best! It won’t be easy.”

Momota laughed. “Enough about me. What are your big goals in life?”

“Nothing as big as going to space, that's for sure,” Amami said, “But I’ve always wanted to explore the world, just to see what it has to offer. I’ve already been to several places, but there is still so much more for me to see. I’m just waiting to graduate and maybe score a job I can do on the road so I can spend my years experiencing as much as I can.”

“Aw man, there will be all sorts of fun stories you’ll have to offer, huh?”

“I hope so,” Amami replied, rubbing the back of his neck, “What about you Saihara? Anything on your bucket list?”

“Huh?” Saihara said, snapping out of his daze, “Oh, no not really. I’m still pretty young.”

“What? No way, you need to be looking forward to something, right?” Momota asked.

“Uh, no. I’m not. I know what I want for a career, but I haven’t thought about what I want to do before I… die.”

“How can you have no ambitions? At least something common like scuba diving or flying a plane?”

Saihara shook his head, a frown pinching his usually delicate features.

“It’s alright,” Kiibo jumped in, “I don’t have many things on my bucket list. The ones that are are very mundane. Some people are content with a simple life and simple goals.”

“Yeah. I guess so,” Saihara said with a slight smile.

Pride bloomed in Kiibos chest. He was the reason for that smile. He wanted to take a photo of this moment and tac it to his fridge.   
“Oh wow, look at the time,” Momota said, “Half-past one. We should be getting to bed soon.”

Amami nodded. “I agree. I have a busy week and I can’t afford to be pulling all-nighters.”

Amami nudged Kiibo, encouraging him to agree. “Ah, right. I have… things to do tomorrow. I’m already risking it staying up this late.” He then forced a yawn to punctuate.  
They all packed up the snacks from the living room and set them in the kitchen to be dealt with in the morning. Kiibo watched Saihara and Kaito go upstairs to where they would be sleeping. One could only guess the emotion he was feeling at that time. Kiibo gasped when a hand landed on his shoulder, twisting around on reflex. 

“Woah, calm down. I was just going to say that we should go to sleep.”

“Oh right. Sorry.”

The air mattress was a tight fit, but they managed. Each on their sides and back to back to make as much space as possible. Amami fell asleep quickly, his breathing slowing minutes after he got comfortable. Kiibo was lucky he didn’t snore or mumble or kick in his sleep, but even so, he couldn’t seem to get tired. An hour passed and he was still staring into the darkness, not feeling the slightest bit sleepy.

It was pure silence. The kind of silence that allowed one to hear electricity humming in the walls and made thoughts loud enough that they could be real voices. It was pitch quiet until a set, no, two sets of footsteps. They were whispering to each other, too quiet for him to make out what they were saying. One of them opened the window, which was conveniently right above the wall their mattress was on. 

Kiibo sat up slowly, trying not to disturb Amami. He reached over to the window and opened it a little, letting cold October air flood the room. He regretted it immediately, shivering and pulling his blanket closer. Next to him, Amami hummed and shifted, making Kiibo hold his breath. His curiosity got the best of him though, enduring the cold draft in favor of eavesdropping. 

Guilt washed over him. _Evesdropping is bad Kiibo, you’re doing a bad thing._ But was it bad if they’ll never know? _You are breaking their trust. They wouldn’t be happy if they found out._ What if they say something about me? _Then it was meant to stay secret. Some things are only meant to be heard by other people._

Kiibo was about to obey his inner voice and close the window when he heard Saihara speaking. “The stars are so pretty. It’s a shame most of it is blocked out.”

“I know right? Hopefully, I’ll get to see the real deal when I one day go to space.”

“Yeah.” 

Silence.

“Hey, Kaito?”

“Yeah, Shuichi?”

“If you had a secret, one that is hard to keep, but would change someone's perspective on you forever, would you tell them?”

“Of course I would! Even if it is a big deal and could change everything forever, a good friend stays a friend. If they react badly and do something to hurt you after that, then they weren’t your friend in the first place.”

“Oh. That's good.”

“Shuichi, is something bothering you?”

“I-” Saihara took a deep, shaky, inhale. “I love you Kaito. Not in the way friends do. In the way lovers do.”

At that moment, Kiibo slid the window shut, not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation. 

Next to him, he heard Amami mumble. “You should have never opened that window.”

“I know,” he whispered, laying down and feeling as if someone stomped on his glass heart.

Kiibo spent the rest of the night walking the line between cold numbness and hysterical sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we start to get a feel for what this fic is about :)
> 
> I'm super busy lately, and I am trying. Constructive criticism would be great, also comments and kudos. Seriously guys, comments make me want to write more. Have a good day! Bye!


	7. All for not?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next to him, he heard Amami mumble. “You should have never opened that window.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao I rewrote this chapter. I hated how it came out, so I did it again. I like this version a lot more. It follows the same sequence of events and what not, but I promise the experience is different. I also cut out the last bit. I dont need it lol. Please read it. I dont want the OG chapter 6 to haunt our minds any longer.

The knot in Kiibo's throat burned as he stood in front of Momota’s home. He was more than a little nervous. If having butterflies in your stomach meant nervousness, then Kiibo had an entire swarm of bees angrily buzzing in the pit of his gut.   
He almost considered turning back and claiming to have gotten sick at the last minute, but his will to see Saihara was overpowering. He continued to stare at the door as if it had committed some form of heinous crime. _Was he even invited? What if he had mistaken himself, and he wasn't invited at all and there wasn't even a party? What if there was a party and he was barging in? What if he was mistaken, and Momota invited the wrong person? What if-_  
“Hey Kiibo,” A voice said from behind him.  
Kiibo jerked as if he had grabbed the wire on a horse fence. “Amami?” he asked, swiveling around to see him only a few paces away.  
“What are you waiting for? That door won’t open itself,” Amami jousted with a chuckle before knocking on the door.  
Kiibo’s stomach plummeted through the floor. He hadn't concluded his complex game of _what if?_ Before he could turn around and run for the hills, the door threw itself open, revealing a beaming Momota. “You guys came! I was starting to worry something had happened. Well, come in and make yourself at home!”  
The two stepped in, Momota almost forcefully taking their overnight bags off them and setting them next to the couch. “Saihara and I are still setting up if you want to help,” He said, walking away from the living room and towards a cabinet across the room.  
“I’d be more than happy to help! Just tell me what with,” Kiibo replied with a curt bow, Amami nodding in agreement next to him.  
Amami separated from Kiibo to trail Momota, leaving him alone by the door.  
Now that Kiibo had the chance, he took in the interior of the home. The decor was simple and surprisingly clean, all themed white with a minimalist theme. It wasn’t at all what he expected and looked very similar to his own living space, just bigger. It helped him feel a little more comfortable in a foreign house.  
“Hey, Kiibo!”  
He turned around and jumped as if someone dropped a toaster in the bathtub while he was in it, effectively startling himself for the second time in the past five minutes. Saihara attempted to hide his smile and laugh from behind his hand but ultimately failed. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, just startled,” Kiibo explained, clasping the fabric over his heart.  
“If you say so. Anyway, upstairs and under the stairwell are the bathrooms. Behind the living room is the kitchen. Kaito has roommates, but they’re both doing stuff today, so you don’t need to worry about bothering them.”  
“That explains how he affords a house. Honestly, I thought he might still be living with his mom. This place doesn't look very cheap.”  
Saihara laughed at that, his cheeks rosy and eyes crinkled. It made Kiibo’s heart stumble and trip inside his chest.  
“Oh, man! He would if he could! Whatever happens, don’t tell Kaito I told you this, but he’s a total mama’s boy. Last year, for Mother's day, I swear he nearly bought the entire Bath and Body Works stocks and supplies,” Saihara said, hushed under his hand.  
“Really? He must be loaded,” Kiibo said, before quickly regretting it.  
Why did he bring wealth up? Isn’t that incredibly rude? Great going Kiibo, five minutes in and you’ve already messed up.  
“Hah, yeah. Believe it or not, but he got an internship at NASA, and receives a lot of money from tutoring and explaining pop culture based on math and science. He may not act like it but he’s really smart. If I weren’t so amazed, I’d be jealous.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.  
A twinge ran through Kiibo. Saihara thinks highly of Momota, doesn't he? He stomped his jealousy down before it engulfed him, now was not the time or place. Momota is highly accomplished in math and science, enough so to get the attention of NASA, which is an honorable and impressive feat. Kiibo should be honored to know him, not jealous.  
“I’m amazed too. It explains how he’s a college student, living in a suburban neighborhood. Besides that, Momota mentioned you two are still setting up. What would you like me to do to help?” Kiibo asked, desperate to get away from the topic that is gushing about Momota.  
“Oh! Yeah, I’m setting out snacks. You can help if you want? We’re just pouring things in a bowl and putting drinks in coolers,” Saihara explained, walking towards the kitchen.  
He tailed him as if he was a lost puppy (which he kind of was. Lost, not a puppy), stepping around Momota and Amami who were rolling out a blowup mattress.   
It was mindless work, setting out bowls and filling them. Finding the bags and treats in the cabinets and fridge was like a game of hide-and-seek or I-spy. Nonetheless, they ended with bowls of Cheetos, Doritos, yogurt pretzels, a box of donut-holes, popcorn, and corn chips. It wasn’t healthy in the slightest, but it was okay. Treats aren’t bad on occasion.  
“Now that that’s done we can put the ice and the drinks in the cooler,” Saihara said, dragging the cooler out of the garage and into the kitchen.  
“Sounds good.”  
They both had to work to tip the ice into the cooler, both of them being scrawny and overall lacking strength. It worked out well enough, the cubes sliding into the cooler neatly and without a spill. Saihara turned and opened the fridge, reaching inside to pull out the drink selection. Placing them onto the counter so they could unpack and refrigerate them.  
Mtn dew, Coke, water, and… beer.  
“Saihara, we’re underage. This isn’t a good idea.”  
“Relax, Kiibo. I’m twenty-one. I had my birthday last month. It’s fine. Besides, everyone here is at least twenty, and that’s close enough, right?” He said, cracking open the soda box.  
“Your birthday was last month? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I didn’t think it was important.”  
Kiibo was about to chew him out about the importance of culture and celebration when the other two called out from the other room. “We’re done setting up the living room! All we need now are blankets and snacks, then we can get this show on the road.”  
They spread out, Saihara and himself moving the snacks onto the coffee table in front of the couch. Momota and Amami raided rooms and cabinets for spare blankets. They eventually found themselves regrouped on the couch, flicking through movie options.   
“Any suggestions?” Momota asked.   
The other three boys looked between them, before shrugging.  
“It’s settled then, we’re watching Toy Story.”  
“That’s such a childish movie,” Amami stated, opening the cooler and fishing out a beer.  
“Do you have any better ideas?” Momota asked, crossing his arms.  
“No,” he said, shaking his head and cracking open the drink, “It was just a comment.”  
All four of them made their way to the couch, claiming their spots for the movie. Kiibo sat on the far left, Amami next to him with Saihara and Momota on the other side. The movie wasn’t anything impressive, considering it simply wasn’t Kiibo’s taste. Actually, no films fit his taste, mostly because he didn’t like them, for the most part. It didn’t stop him from enjoying the others’ company, though.  
Kiibo nearly fell asleep while watching the movie, uninterested in the petty drama made to suit children's issues and understandings. He didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t fascinating either. He almost sighed in relief when the credits started rolling, glad they could move on.  
“Well,” Amami started, “Now what?”  
“It’s seven-thirty, so we have time to kill,” Saihara said.  
“But with what?” Momota asked, reaching for the snacks.  
“Hmn, Halloweens coming up soon. What do you guys have planned?” Amami asked.  
“Oh! Shuichi, Maki-roll, and I are going as Teletubbies this year!”  
“I never agreed to that,” Saihara defended, rubbing the back of his neck.  
“You can’t get out of it buddy!” Momota said, knocking Saihara’s arm.  
Saihara muttered something under his breath, but it went undetected, aside from the rosy tint that resonated on his cheeks.  
Momota turned to Amami, “What about you?”  
“Nothing much. I’m going to a small party before Halloween, then I’m visiting my sisters for the actual day. They go all-out. It’s tradition to all go at once because it’s funny to see the look on people's faces when they see twelve, similarly-looking children in one spot.”  
“Wait, what? Twelve? That’s crazy,” Momota stated.  
“Yeah, It’s not too bad though. There are two sets of twins and triplets. The rest of us are Irish twins.”  
“Irish twins?” Saihara asked.  
“It’s when someone is born within two years of their sibling,” Amami explained.  
Saihara and Momota ‘oohed’ in understanding.  
“Kiibo, you haven’t told us what you’re doing,” Saihara said.  
“Oh, I’m not doing anything. I’ll probably just get ahead in my classes or play some video games since I haven’t done that in a while.”  
“What? You aren’t doing anything?” Momota asked, baffled.  
Kiibo shrugged. “Halloween isn’t my thing.”  
“Your loss, dude.”  
“You should have seen us last year! We didn’t all go dressed up, but it was still fun!” Momota said, putting an arm across Saihara’s shoulders and pulling him in so that their sides were flushed against each other.   
Something akin to anger and betrayal stirred underneath Kiibos poker face, something he had gotten very good at when dealing with Saihara and his friend. He didn’t notice the conversation kept going until a phone was shoved towards him by Amami, his stone-cold gaze meeting Kiibos' tired one. He looked at the phone, taking a second to realize it was a photo that was being shown to him.  
It was from last Halloween, with Momota, Saihara, and another girl. Their costumes were nothing short of ridiculous, featuring Momota in a once piece rocket ship blow up, and Saihara averting his gaze from the camera dressed as a planet. Kiibo smiled out of politeness and handed the phone back to its rightful owner.  
“We couldn’t get Harukawa to join us, but we’ll be sure to get her this year. Right, Shuichi?”  
Saihara, who had to of caught a fever in the last minute or so, smiled and nodded in agreement.   
“So, Momota, why do you love space so much?”  
“Oh, well I’ve always loved space, particularly as a little kid. It was never a tangible thing for me though, until my parents took me to a planetarium for my twelfth birthday. A guy who worked for NASA was presenting there, and I managed to talk to him after the show. I asked if I could ever go to space and he was nothing but supportive. He didn’t beat around the bush when he said it would take a lot of hard work and effort! Ever since then, I’ve done everything I can to achieve my dreams. I can still hear the words he spoke to me that day. Everything is possible, even the impossible! You just have to make it so.”  
“That’s very inspiring. I wish you the best! It won’t be easy.”  
Momota laughed. “Enough about me. What are your big goals in life?”  
“Nothing as big as going to space, that's for sure,” Amami said, “But I’ve always wanted to explore the world, just to see what it has to offer. I’ve already been to several places, but there is still so much more for me to see. I’m just waiting to graduate and maybe score a job I can do on the road so I can spend my years experiencing as much as I can.”  
“Aw man, there will be all sorts of fun stories you’ll have to offer, huh?”  
“I hope so,” Amami replied, rubbing the back of his neck, “What about you Saihara? Anything on your bucket list?”  
“Huh?” Saihara said, snapping out of his daze, “Oh, no not really. I’m still pretty young.”  
“What? No way, you need to be looking forward to something, right?” Momota asked.  
“Uh, no. I’m not. I know what I want for a career, but I haven’t thought about what I want to do before I… die.”  
“How can you have no ambitions? At least something common like scuba diving or flying a plane?”  
Saihara shook his head, a frown pinching his usually delicate features.  
“It’s alright,” Kiibo jumped in, “I don’t have many things on my bucket list. The ones that are are very mundane. Some people are content with a simple life and simple goals.”  
“Yeah. I guess so,” Saihara said with a slight smile.  
Pride bloomed in Kiibos chest. He was the reason for that smile. He wanted to take a photo of this moment and tac it to his fridge.   
“Oh wow, look at the time,” Momota said, “Half-past one. We should be getting to bed soon.”  
Amami nodded. “I agree. I have a busy week and I can’t afford to be pulling all-nighters.”  
Amami nudged Kiibo, encouraging him to agree. “Ah, right. I have… things to do tomorrow. I’m already risking it staying up this late.” He then forced a yawn to punctuate.  
They all packed up the snacks from the living room and set them in the kitchen to be dealt with in the morning. Kiibo watched Saihara and Kaito go upstairs to where they would be sleeping. One could only guess the emotion he was feeling at that time. Kiibo gasped when a hand landed on his shoulder, twisting around on reflex.   
“Woah, calm down. I was just going to say that we should go to sleep.”  
“Oh right. Sorry.”  
The air mattress was a tight fit, but they managed. Each on their sides and back to back to make as much space as possible. Amami fell asleep quickly, his breathing slowing minutes after he got comfortable. Kiibo was lucky he didn’t snore or mumble or kick in his sleep, but even so, he couldn’t seem to get tired. An hour passed and he was still staring into the darkness, not feeling the slightest bit sleepy.  
It was pure silence. The kind of silence that allowed one to hear electricity humming in the walls and made thoughts loud enough that they could be real voices. It was pitch quiet until a set, no, two sets of footsteps. They were whispering to each other, too quiet for him to make out what they were saying. One of them opened the window, which was conveniently right above the wall their mattress was on.   
Kiibo sat up slowly, trying not to disturb Amami. He reached over to the window and opened it a little, letting cold October air flood the room. He regretted it immediately, shivering and pulling his blanket closer. Next to him, Amami hummed and shifted, making Kiibo hold his breath. His curiosity got the best of him though, enduring the cold draft in favor of eavesdropping.   
Guilt washed over him. _Evesdropping is bad Kiibo, you’re doing a bad thing._ But was it bad if they’ll never know? _You are breaking their trust. They wouldn’t be happy if they found out._ What if they say something about me? _Then it was meant to stay secret. Some things are only meant to be heard by other people._  
Kiibo was about to obey his inner voice and close the window when he heard Saihara speaking. “The stars are so pretty. It’s a shame most of it is blocked out.”  
“I know right? Hopefully, I’ll get to see the real deal when I one day go to space.”  
“Yeah.”   
Silence.  
“Hey, Kaito?”  
“Yeah, Shuichi?”  
“If you had a secret, one that is hard to keep, but would change someone's perspective on you forever, would you tell them?”  
“Of course I would! Even if it is a big deal and could change everything forever, a good friend stays a friend. If they react badly and do something to hurt you after that, then they weren’t your friend in the first place.”  
“Oh. That's good.”  
“Shuichi, is something bothering you?”  
“I-” Saihara took a deep, shaky, inhale. “I love you Kaito. Not in the way friends do. In the way lovers do.”  
At that moment, Kiibo slid the window shut, not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation.   
Next to him, he heard Amami mumble. “You should have never opened that window.”  
“I know,” he whispered, laying down and feeling as if someone stomped on his glass heart.  
Kiibo spent the rest of the night walking the line between cold numbness and hysterical sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we start to get a feel for what this fic is about :)
> 
> I'm super busy lately, and I am trying. Constructive criticism would be great, also comments and kudos. Seriously guys, comments make me want to write more. Have a good day! Bye!


	8. lmao im super sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So uh yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma just copy what I said in Smokey Eyes.
> 
> Uh so, I've lost motivation for writing this fic. all my time is sapped up because of school and I've left the Danganronpa fandom. I probably wont be writing any more fanfics, but maybe I'll write some original stories. Who knows? I'm sorry for abandoning this, but I really don't see myself finishing this. I'm posting the entire script to this fic below for those of you who want to know what happened. If one of you guys out there wants to take the script and write the whole ass fic yourself, go ahead. Just contact me so I can see it:)
> 
> I know a lot of you were super excited for this fic and whatnot, but I wont be finishing it. you can though.

Ch1 Just who is this guy?

Kiibo is working a shift at the cafe with Rantaro and Kokichi   
They are discussing the prettiest people they've seen (Kokichi says Rantaro, Kiibo also says Rantaro, Rantaro says Shuichi)  
Kokichi changes his answer to Shuichi because he agrees, and the two of them gush  
Kiibo asks them who Shuichi is and Rantaro gives info overload  
Shuichi walks in and orders a coffee (Kiibo doesn't know it’s Shuichi)  
Kiibo is dumbstruck and makes a fool of himself, Kokichi makes fun of him  
When Shuichi leaves it’s revealed to Kiibo that he was Shuichi

Shuichi starts showing up more often and Kiibo begins to grow familiar with him  
Kiibo finds himself staring at Shuichi often, and letting his mind drift  
Kiibo leaves a note on Shuichi’s coffee and he passes one back  
It becomes a game

Ch2 You seem nice, but what for?

Kiibo and Shuichi talk while kiibo works   
Talk about upcoming school, they go to the same collage and are in the same year  
Topic shifts to interests, Kiibo says he loves music, Shuichi invites him to Kaede’s recital  
Shuichi leaves, Kokichi had walked in at the end of their conversation and teases Kiibo  
Kiibo realizes Shuichi gave Kiibo his number  
He text’s Shuichi once the shift ends and arrange to hang out for Kaede’s recital

Ch3 Do I like you, or the idea of you?

Kiibo goes to Shuichi’s apartment and meet at the door  
They go to the recital together and talk on the drive (music taste and friends)  
Kiibo enjoys the music at the recital and Kiibo assumes Shuichi and Kaede are a thing  
He meets Kaede after the performance and discover they are not in a relationship  
Shuichi drives Kiibo back to his house after saying goodbyes  
They share career interests on the drive back (shuichi: detective, kiibo: robotics)  
Kiibo is dropped off at home and Kiibo realizes he likes Shuichi a more than he thought 

Ch4 Am I seeing things?

A few weeks pass and school is officially in session   
Shuichi and Kiibo share a few general classes (math and science)  
Kiibo places trinkets on Shuichi’s desk to display affection  
Kiibo struggles with literature so Shuichi offers to help  
They study in the library and Shuichi is leaning directly over Kiibo  
They are at the end of studying when Shuichi reveals he know Kiibo is leaving the gifts  
Shuichi claims its cute and leaves Kiibo dumbfounded in the library

Ch5 Why am I like this?

Kiibo is at work when Shuichi walks in with Kaito   
Shuichi introduces the two  
He has to leave early due to an emergency but tells the two not to be weird  
Kaito tells Kiibo he’s heard a lot about him and Kiibo gets flustered  
Kaito invites Kiibo to a sleepover with Shuich/Rantaro/and himself  
Kiibo agrees, they exchange details and numbers and Kaito leaves  
Kiibo obsesses over what Shuichi apparently told Kaito

Ch6 All for not?

Kiibo arrives at Kaito’s house and is welcomed inside  
The other three are already there, they decide to talk first and watch a movie  
They talk about halloween, Kokichi and bucket lists  
It gets late and they decide to sleep (Rantaro and Kiibo in the living room, Kaito and Shuichi in an actual room)  
Kiibo hears Kaito and Shuichi climb to the roof to stargaze  
He listens in on their conversation, when Shuichi confesses to Kaito  
Kiibo’s heart breaks and he doesn't pay attention to the rest of the convo

Go home in the morning  
Chaotic thoughts over unreciprocated love

Ch7 Are you okay?

Kiibos at work and he hasn’t seen Shuichi for a few days and wont respond to texts  
A week passes and there is still no sign of Shuichi  
Kiibo gets fed up and goes to Shuichi’s apartment   
He knocks on the door and gets no response, so he knocks again  
Shuichi answers and looks like trash  
Kiibo is baffled and forces Shuichi to take care of himself  
He makes Shuichi shower while he prepares food and cleans what he can

Ch8 Can you love me too?

Kiibo cares for Suichi every day for a week without knowing why he’s down  
There are a lot of soft moments (Cooking, school work, video games, crying/panic attacks, sleep)  
Kiibo gets Shuichi to open up one day   
He learns that Shuichi was rejected by Kaito and Shuichi thinks he ruined their friendship  
Kiibo comforts him and Shuichi falls asleep in his arms, and Kiibo does the same

Ch9 Are you okay with the things I conceal?

Kiibo wakes up and Shuichi is still asleep  
Kiibo gets up and runs to the bathroom to deal with his concealer  
Shuichi walks in halfway through Kiibo reapplying concealer  
Kiibo freaks out over his birthmarks and has a meltdown  
Shuichi assures Kiibo he is perfect the way he is and shouldn't need to wear concealer  
Kiibo decides he doesn't need concealer that day

Ch10 Seven Pm

Kiibo and Shuichi are on a walk together during golden hour  
They sit on a bench at the top of the hill  
Small talk (funny stories, embarrassing facts, Kiibo can't swim)  
Kiibo rambles about how much he loves the view  
Shuichi laughs along and the topic turns to love  
Shuichi is over Kaito and Kiibo lets it slip that he overheard Kaito and Shuichi  
Shuichi is embarrassed  
Kiibo reassures Shuichi and rambles about how he cant believe Kaito rejected him  
Shuichi reaches over and traces Kiibo’s birthmarks, making him go silent  
Kiibo swears they were going to kiss, but Shuichi turns aways and expresses how happy he is that he met Kiibo  
Kiibo is disappointed but agrees as well and uses the word friend

Ch11 Did it seem that way to you?

Miu and Kiibo are staying after class for a project  
The topic goes to crushes and Miu teases Kiibo about Shuichi  
The situation gets comicall and Miu pins Kiibo  
Kiibo expresses that he cant breath and Shuichi walks in  
Shuichi walks out as fast as possible and sprints down the halls  
Kiibo tries to chase him and fails  
He texts Shuichi and is left on read

Ch12 Can’t we just talk?

Shuichi avoids Kiibo at every chance, even in class  
Kiibo eventually corners Shuichi and asks what he did  
Shuichi snaps and yells at him  
They argue and a lot of miscommunication happens (Kiibo is dense and Shuichi says he loves Kiibo without actually saying it)  
Kiibo asks why Shuichi should care and Shuichi gives up and leaves  
Kiibo cries on the floor alone

Ch13 Is it better to let go?

Kiibo is off at work and Rantaro and Kokichi force him to talk  
Kiibo eventually spills everything that happened   
They suggest to go to Rantaro’s party that weekend to loosen up  
Kiibo agrees 

Kokichi and Kiibo go to Rantaro’s mansion for the party  
Kiibo is having fun with people but cant get Shuichi off his mind  
He spots Shuichi out of the corner of his eye and goes over to try and fix things  
He takes a few steps when someone runs into him

Ch14 Is it right to be far under?

Kiibo is knocked into the pool  
He sinks and hits the bottom   
He sees movement and someone dives in after him  
Shuichi drags Kiibo out of the water and pumps his chest  
Kiibo immediately starts coughing up water   
Shuichi offers to take Kiibo to the hospital just in case  
The drive and wait is painfully silent   
His vitals are checked and he is soon released  
On the drive back Kiibo get a conversation started and apologises  
Kiibo eventually ends up rambling and confesses

Ch15 Why don’t say what you mean?

Shuichi disbelieves at first but Kokichi insists  
Shuichi pulls off to the side of the road for safety  
The conversation picks up and Kiibo kisses Shuichi  
Kiibo is pleased when Shuichi kisses back   
Shuichi drops Kiibo off at home   
Kiibo convinces Shuichi to stay for the night and he eventually agrees  
Kiibo cleans himself up and they cuddle because I am like god with barbies

Ch16 Seven Am

Kiibo wakes up and Shuichi is watching him  
Kiibo makes a stalker joke at Shuichi  
They cuddle again and express their love  
They sort out details and labels of their relationship  
They plan a date for later that day  
Kiibo aplogises for being big stupid and so does Shuichi

Kiibo is at work, and Shuichi shows up towards the end of their shift  
Rantaro and Kokichi go silent because they think Shuichi and Kiibo are still at odds  
After his shift, Kiibo goes to Shuichi and they kiss  
Kokichi sceams and Rantaro gasps and ask all the questions  
Kiibo can’t answer the questions and Shuichi eventually saves him  
They leave for their date and they are happy

**Author's Note:**

> You can find my tumblrs at [acidclovers](https://acidclovers.tumblr.com/), my Fanart and Main blog, and [acidwrites](https://acidwrites.tumblr.com/), my writing one. I love interacting with my readers, so don't be afraid to reach out!
> 
> Fanart:  
> 
> 
> Production Cast:  
> Editor- MariaMoonshade (Tyr)  
> Beta- Picipek (Pic)  
> Writer- AcidClovers (Percy)


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